


wish upon a star

by soggywormcircus



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stardust, F/F, Fluff, Found Family, Mutual Pining, i love them so much y'all, not a lot but like you CAN'T have ds9 without found family sorry i don't make the rules
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:41:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soggywormcircus/pseuds/soggywormcircus
Summary: Jadzia promises Lenara to bring her the fallen star. Everything goes wrong from there.
Relationships: Jadzia Dax/Kira Nerys
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	wish upon a star

**Author's Note:**

> what can i say y'all. i'm in love with both of these women. enjoy.

The star looks just like Jadzia imagined. 

Which is to say, she hadn't dared to imagine anything, and when the woman in the flaming red dress scowls at her about how she _dared_ to shoot her from the sky, she's only mildly surprised. 

Mildly surprised, and absolutely stunned. 

She hadn't imagined anything, but she knows that someone like Lenara would have imagined a very big, and very pretty rock. This is something entirely different, and the star is much, much more beautiful than any piece of geology from space could possibly be. 

Thinking of Lenara reminds Jadzia of why she's here, and she flashes a grin as she traps the star.

If the star was angry before, she's absolutely furious now. 

'What the hell do you mean,' she barks into Jadzia's face, 'I'm a _present of engagement_?' 

Jadzia shrugs, not exactly apologetically. 'Have you never needed to win over a lady before?' 

'I am,' she answers, slowly, like Jadzia wouldn't understand otherwise, 'a _star_ . What I _need_ to do is spend my nights in the sky, where I _belong_.'

Jadzia simply smiles again, and fastens the chains. 'Well,' she says, 'now you belong to me.'

And yes, Jadzia promises to bring her back home once they've made it to Wall, but that doesn't change anything.

The star still keeps glowing throughout the whole night, red with anger, and she doesn't say a single word. Jadzia walks her south, towards home.

Towards Lenara. 

It's only when the day comes that she slows down. That they both realise that maybe, her crash from the sky didn't leave her completely unscathed. 

'It's broken,' Jadzia realises once she's had a closer look at the star's leg.

'Oh, what a shame,' the star mocks. 'You're engagement present is damaged! What will your love _think_ of you now?' 

Jadzia frowns. 'How come you could walk for so many hours? Why are we only noticing this now?' 

The star says, 'Because it's noon,' and leaves it at that. 

Jadzia doesn't have time for broken stars, so she improvises a splint and a crutch and drags her along. 

She doesn't complain, doesn't shoot Jadzia with insults, all the way until the sun sets. Jadzia starts to think she's too stubborn to rub her pain into Jadzia's face, but then she collapses against a tree and Jadzia starts to realise that she's exhausted. 

Still, there's the faintest glowing in her eyes, like she'd love to shine like her sisters up in the sky, but is simply too broken, or too tired. 

'We don't have time for this,' Jadzia says, even though she doesn't actually plan to drag the star through another night.

'If you're in a hurry, leave me here and I'll catch up,' the star jokes, but there's no real humor and no bite behind the words. She just sounds tired. Jadzia feels a pang of guilt, and so she says, 'Fine.' 

The star looks up at her, breathing so controlled that it has to be a conscious effort. 'Oh, that was easy,' she says. 

'We'll rest here tonight,' Jadzia announces. The star's eyes darken. 

Jadzia nestles herself into the roots of the tree and looks up at the night sky. 

'It's really beautiful,' she says. The star doesn't answer. She's already fallen asleep. 

Jadzia wakes her at noon, even though at that point she's been awake for hours. She's just been looking at the star, watching her light waver and faulter with the rising sun, but never really disappearing. 

'I'm Jadzia,' she introduces herself after a few minutes of silent and slow walking. 

The star scoffs. 'Why would I care?', she asks. 'You're my captor.' 

Jadzia shrugs. She can't exactly argue with that. 'Just thought maybe you'd like your insults to have a more personal note to them.' 

She snorts. It's not quite a laugh. It makes Jadzia feel warm inside, and- 

'Kira,' the star mutters. 'My name's Kira. Kira Nerys. You're gonna call me Kira.' 

Jadzia turns to her with a smile and bows deeply. 'Yes, my lady.' 

Another snort. 

And that's how things go, for a while at least. Jadzia walks the st- walks Kira through woods and over plains and Kira's leg doesn't heal, and when the pain gets too much she asks questions.

She asks about the world Jadzia comes from, even though she seems to already know a lot herself. When Jadzia asks her about it, she simply shrugs. 

'I've had a lot of time to watch you,' she says. Jadzia knows that she means people in general, but there's still… a fluttering, of some sort, in her stomach. She clenches her teeth and ignores it. 

When Jadzia sleeps, she dreams of Lenara. She always does, because that's what Jadzia is like. She falls fast and she falls hard, not all unlike a star. 

And she's been in love with Lenara for as long as she can remember. She sees her every time she closes her eyes, her easy and playful smile. 

She's never kissed her, not once. But that's what the dreams are for. 

That's what Kira is for.

Out of all the things Kira could be asking her, she seems to be most interested in Lenara, too. She asks all kinds of questions. Jadzia is glad to answer every single one. 

'What do you love about her?', Kira asks one evening, the faintest glow on her face. She's slowly waking, along with the night. 

Jadzia leans back and closes her eyes. 

'Everything,' she says. 

Kira frowns. 'Is that all?' 

'What do you want to hear?', Jadzia asks with impatience. 'She's the most beautiful woman in the world, I've never met anyone as intelligent as her.' 

'So it's her beauty you love?', Kira asks. 'Her intelligence?' She sounds genuine, like she really wants to know. Jadzia isn't sure why it makes her so angry. 

She throws up her hands. 'I suppose, yes.' She sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose. 'Look, maybe it doesn't make sense. That's what love is like. It doesn't have to be explained or declared. It just is.' 

'Then why do you need me?' 

Jadzia blinks. 'What?' 

'If it doesn't need to be declared, if it just is,' Kira trails off, looks at Jadzia. 'Why do you need me? Why need a gift?' 

Jadzia stares at her for a few seconds, then looks away. 'You don't get it,' she says, and nothing more. 

Kira doesn't ask another question. 

So that's how they spend their days, and it's almost comfortable. It's almost- it's almost nice, walking with Kira. 

Everything changes, of course, when they make it to the inn.

They made it through half the night when Kira falls and can't get up. Jadzia wraps an arm around her and drags her on. 

The rain makes it difficult to see anything. Even Kira's glowing keeps getting weaker and weaker. Jadzia assumes that it has to do with the clouds hanging over them, masking the moon and the stars. 

Eventually, Kira says, 'I can't keep walking.' 

'We can't stop.' 

'Look, I don't care what your plan is or how much more days we have left before your woman goes off to marry someone else,' Kira snaps. 'I have a broken leg, and I have been away from home for _days_ , and you don't let me sleep through the day, and I _can't_ keep _walking_.' 

Jadzia stops walking and turns to Kira. She nearly falls over when Jadzia lets go of her for a minute. 'What do you suggest we do?', she asks, waving her hand around. 'Just summon a roof over our heads out of thin air? Because I don't know how your star magic works, but I don't think it's-' 

She shuts up when Kira points somewhere behind Jadzia. 'I was thinking we just try our luck there.' 

Jadzia turns around and sees a faint source of light, looking warm and inviting. 

'Where the hell did that come from?' 

Jadzia has a bad feeling about this. She doesn't manage to shake it off when they get closer, and recognise the outlines of a building, and she doesn't manage to shake it off when they open the door and a very nice woman opens. 

'Oh, child, please come in,' she says to Kira, but Jadzia follows anyway, because they're still bound to each other and also Jadzia isn't going to lose Kira like that. 

She hasn't even made it to Lenara, after all. 

The woman is very nice, and very forthcoming and she goes upstairs to draw them both a hot bath. Kira is just about to follow her upstairs when Jadzia grabs her by the wrist. 

'Be careful,' she whispers. 'I don't trust her.' 

Kira looks at her for a moment too long, then she rolls her eyes. 'Of course you don't trust her,' she answers. 'If she realises that you've kidnapped me, she might try to help, and what's going to happen with your future wife then?'

Jadzia doesn't try to bite back. 'Just- try and take care,' she says, adding a quiet, 'please.' 

Kira raises one eyebrow, then she just says, 'Help me up the stairs.' 

Maybe she's right, Jadzia thinks to herself once they're seperated, Jadzia in her own hot bath. Maybe she is being paranoid. 

And hasn't Kira been glowing, just a little more brightly, before she went into the room next door?

Maybe Jadzia is being… irrational.

She closes her eyes and is just about to doze off when she hears the sound of glass shattering. 

She jumps, then tries to make no noise at all, to just listen.

'Are you alright?', she hears Kira ask, and her heart nearly stops beating at how _soft_ her voice sounds. 

In all the days they've spent together, Kira had never talked to her like that. It stings for a moment, but then Jadzia remembers where she is, and she shakes the feeling off. 

'Yes, yes, of course,' the woman that had introduced herself as Adami answers. 'I'm so sorry, I made quite the mess.' A soft laugh that sends a shiver down Jadzia's spine.

She steps out of the tub as quietly as she can, putting her clothes back on, always listening. 

'How is the leg, my child?', Adami asks gently.

'It's much better, thank you.'

Kira sounds...hmm. Almost content, maybe. Jadzia can only imagine the glow that must be on her face at the moment. 

She doesn't think about the fact that Jadzia didn't manage to put that glow on her face, that it was this woman instead, and that-

Adami helps Kira out of the tub. She's about to bring her to bed, and it feels like Jadzia's skin is on fire.

She barges into the room just as Adami is telling Kira to close her eyes. Just as she's raising the big and jagged shard of glass right above her chest.

'Kira, watch out!'

Adami whips around to her, points at her with one finger, and then Jadzia crashes into the wall. Wood splinters all around her, cuts through her skin. There's one piece that leaves a deep cut in her arm that starts bleeding all over her. Jadzia clenches her teeth. Her other hand is fumbling for the last piece of the candle she still has left from her trip to the star. 

Kira is staring at her, her eyes wide. Jadzia assumes she's never seen a human bleed before. She looks afraid, and there's barely a glow on her face anymore. 

A shame, really. 

Jadzia flashes Kira the candle for a moment, and it looks like she understands.

Adami doesn't see any of it. She's turned back to Kira. She shakes her head, like a disappointed mother. 

'Now, now, that is a real shame,' she says to Kira, very gently. She's still holding the shard, and Jadzia's heart is beating in her chest like it's going to explode. 

'It could have been so nice - the heart of a happy, glowing star? Nothing quite as rare. But it's fine. Your heart like this will do just fine.' 

Jadzia doesn't know what any of this means. All she knows is that Kira is looking very scared, and every single bone in her body hurts, but she still lunges forward, and so does Kira, at the same time, and Jadzia gives her the candle and with one gentle touch, Kira _lights_ it-

And then the flaw in their escape plan becomes apparent very quickly. 

Because Jadzia blinks, and then some very strong wind hits her in the face and she can't see anything for a moment. 

She opens her eyes and sees Kira, quite soaked and very angry. 

She's yelling all kinds of things at her, things that Jadzia has very good answers for. 

Like the fact that the candles don't work like that. They bring you to the place you want to be the most, but when there's two hands holding onto it and both want _very much_ , then they end up in a strange nowhere place between. 

Jadzia could say that, or that there wasn't exactly time for her to explain what to do in the seconds before Adami went for the attack. 

Or that she is quite delirious with blood loss, thank you very much, and also that she was _trying_ to save Kira's life. 

All she can think is that Kira is still holding her hand.

She looks into the star's furious face and says, very slowly, 'You're still holding my hand,' like an absolute idiot.

Kira shuts up, looks down at their intertwined fingers, and pulls away. 

That's also the moment the net descends down on them.

Jadzia drifts in and out of consciousness without Kira's warmth to keep her grounded. The next time she finds herself awake, it's very quiet. 

'Jadzia?' A hand touches her wrist, way too gently. 'Are you awake?' 

She opens her eyes. She sees what looks like the inside of a ship. She can't move her arms, she's tied up, tied to-

Someone behind her, back to back with her. 

'Lenara?', she asks, because she doesn't understand what's going on at all and of course Lenara is her first thought. The hand disappears. 

'Close, but not close enough,' the voice says, now sounding a lot less gentle and a lot more familiar. 

'Kira.' 

'Oh, you got it! I was worried we were going to have to list even more of your pathetic romances.' 

Jadzia's mouth tastes like salt and like blood. 

'What happened?' Her voice sounds rough, like she's been screaming for hours. 

'We were captured,' Kira explains with little patience. 'Pirates. Threw us in here. That was a few hours ago. I was… worried you weren't going to wake up for a while there.' 

She doesn't sound very worried. Jadzia frowns. 

'Pirates?' She shakes her head, which just makes everything hurt more. 'That makes no sense. The candle brought us into the _sky_.' 

Kira just shrugs. 'Stars aren't the only things that live up here, you know.' 

Jadzia sighs. She's very tired.

'Why did she want your heart?', Jadzia asks. It takes a moment before Kira answers. 

'I am a star,' she says, and Jadzia realises that Kira is surprised, that this is something Jadzia should know. 'Our hearts, they- they're different from yours. If you know how to use them, they can make you- powerful.'

'How powerful?', Jadzia asks, wondering why the room is spinning. 

'Powerful enough to not have to die.'

‘Goddamnit,’ Jadzia mutters. Then, something very strange happens. 

Kira laughs. 

It’s not exactly a wholehearted or happy laugh. It’s shaky and terrified. It sets Jadzia on fire all the same. 

‘Sorry,’ she says, ‘I just- you didn’t know?’

‘How was I supposed to know something like this?’

‘Jadzia, _everyone_ knows this. I know you’re from far away, but still- you really just wanted to bring your girl a pretty rock as a present?’

‘A pretty rock from outer space,’ Jadzia corrects in a sulky voice, and Kira laughs again. 

‘God, I really can’t figure you out.’

Jadzia tries not to smile, really tries. It doesn’t work. 

‘What do you think they’re going to do to us?’, Kira asks after a few seconds of silence. 

‘I don’t know,’ Jadzia says, then she grins. ‘Maybe they’ll throw us overboard.’

Kira groans. ‘I have done enough falling for a lifetime.’

Jadzia chuckles. She doesn’t apologise. The words are right there, on her tongue, but she doesn’t say them. She thinks she might want to. 

Instead she says, ‘How’s your leg?’

Kira hums. Jadzia is suddenly very aware of the fact that she can’t see her face, can’t see her glow. She doesn’t like the thought very much. 

‘Better. Much better, actually.’ She stretches the leg forwards, draws it back in again. ‘Wouldn’t surprise me if- if Adami worked some magic there.’

Kira tries to turn her head back, to look at Jadzia. They’re bound to close, which makes this a little too ironic. ‘What about you?’, she asks. ‘She got you pretty bad, didn’t she?’

‘She did,’ Jadzia says. ‘But don’t worry, I’ll- I’ll be fine. Let’s just- let’s just talk. Keep me awake.’

‘Sure,’ Kira says. Jadzia can hear the smile in her voice. ‘You could tell me more about your Lenara.’

Jadzia chuckles lightly. ‘No, I don’t- I don’t think I have any more stories for you.’ She’s not sure why she says it. But she might as well be bleeding out at the moment, and she’s very tired, and she can’t see the glow on Kira’s face, and she doesn’t _want_ to think about Lenara right now. 

‘Just tell me about the stars,’ she says softly. 

And Kira does. 

She tells Jadzia about her home until the men come to take Kira away. They keep Jadzia right where she is, and she doesn’t have the energy to try and follow Kira. It’s not like she doesn’t try, of course. She yells and tries to escape the grip of the pirate holding her in place, but it’s no use.

‘I swear to god,’ she hisses, ‘if you do anything to hurt her, I’m going to make sure this entire ship crashes out of the sky.’ 

Kira gives Jadzia a look over her shoulder just before she disappears. She’s still glowing, just a tiny bit. Jadzia thinks she might be saying, ‘I’ll be okay.’ But that might just be the blood loss speaking. 

Because as soon as they’re alone, Jadzia turns to the man holding onto her, ready to spit insults and threats in his face. She opens her mouth, and then passes out. 

The last thing she sees is the man’s face, and the last thing she thinks to herself is how strange it is that he looks so young, and not dangerous at all. 

When she wakes up again, everything hurts a little less. 

Opening her eyes proves to be very difficult. 

‘Kira?’, she mutters. A warm hand closes around her wrist. ‘It’s okay,’ a voice says. ‘I’m here. You’re alright.’ 

Jadzia opens her eyes. Kira is right there, above her. She’s- she’s smiling?

‘What did they do to you?’ 

Kira chuckles. ‘It’s okay,’ she says again. ‘I’m okay. Look, still got my heart.’ 

She takes Jadzia’s hand and guides it to her chest, right above where her heart is beating. 

Jadzia’s hand lingers there for a moment. She wonders why it’s suddenly so hard to breathe. 

Jadzia sits up, and then the man appears. Jadzia would like to say that he appeared out of nowhere, but she’s probably simply not quite awake yet. 

She pulls away her hand like she’s burned it. 

‘Careful,’ the man says, putting his hands on her shoulders. ‘Don’t move too fast, or it’s only going to rip back open.’

Jadzia raises one eyebrow. She looks down on herself, only now noticing the bandages. 

She puts a careful hand on them. Then she looks back up at the man. 

‘You’re a doctor,’ she says. 

He smiles, a small smile. ‘That’s right,’ he says. ‘Julian Bashir. Captain Sisko thought it would be best to have a look at you before everything.’

‘Captain Sisko,’ Jadzia repeats slowly. 

The doctor- how can he be a doctor, he looks so young, this doesn’t make sense- nods. ‘That’s right. He’d love to speak with both of you, once you’re ready of course.’  
‘Right.’ Jadzia tries a smile, fails quite badly at it. ‘Doctor, would you- would you mind leaving the two of us alone for a moment?’

The doctor says of course, and then Kira and Jadzia are alone. 

‘How are you feeling?’, Kira is asking softly. Jadzia doesn’t answer.  
‘Did they do anything to you?’

‘What?’

‘Did they. Do anything to you? What happened while I was out?’

‘Jadzia, nothing happened. Everything is fine. They don’t mean us any harm, they just pulled us on board because we were stranded. It took them a while to figure out we're not dangerous either, but they're trying to help us.’

Jadzia just shakes her head. ‘Do they know what you are?’

The softness in Kira’s face vanishes. ‘They do,’ she says. ‘But you don’t have to worry about that. They’re not going to steal me from you.’

‘Kira, that’s not what I meant-’

‘Look,’ Kira says impatiently. ‘I know how crazy this sounds, but I think we can trust them. They could have killed you. They could have killed me. We were literally in their net. There’s no reason for them to do any of this, to tend to your wounds. I don’t- I don’t think we need to worry this time.’ 

Jadzia sighs, dragging a hand down her face. ‘Well, if you’re wrong, it’s not my heart they’re cutting out of my chest.’

‘That’s right,’ Kira says. And then she’s hugging Jadzia. 

Everything stops for a second. It’s like the world blinks. Jadzia just- stops, and then she’s back, and she’s carefully putting her arms around Kira.  
She’s very warm, but Jadzia supposes that’s no surprise. 

It’s sort of a surprise, how little she wants to let go. 

‘I was worried about you,’ Kira mutters. ‘You- you’d lost so much blood. I don’t really know how much blood a human can lose before they die.’ She laughs, weakly. Jadzia pulls her a little closer. 

‘It’s gonna take a little more than that for you to get rid of me, Kira,’ she says softly. 

Kira doesn’t say anything for a moment, until-

‘Nerys.’ 

Jadzia stills. ‘What?’

‘Nerys. You can call me Nerys. It’s more- I don't know. It’s more.’

Oh. 

Oh no. This can’t be good. This must be bad. 

Jadzia beams against Kira’s shoulder. ‘Really?’

‘Don’t make me regret it,’ Kira- no, _Nerys_ says, and Jadzia laughs. 

‘Alright,’ she says once they’ve pulled away from each other. ‘What happens next?’

Nerys shrugs. 'We meet the Captain, I suppose.' 

And they do. 

Captain Sisko greets them with a smile and with a million questions about both of their homes. 

Before this, Jadzia had trouble pinning down just what kind of ship they'd found themselves on. If its crew were fugitives or raiders or something in between. 

When she meets Benjamin Sisko, she starts to understand. 

They're adventurers. Explorers. 

Most of all, they become friends. 

Sisko gives them a room with the rest of the crew. They spend their first night on the Defiant surrounded by people with wide eyes asking them all kinds of questions about where they came from, and Jadzia finds it strangely wonderful to just lean back and listen to Nerys talk about the night sky. 

She's not in pain anymore, and she's left any unease or fear down at the ground. Which means that this is the point where Jadzia finds she's quite lost for words when looking at Nerys. 

She's… well, there's not really another word for it. She's radiant. She's warm. And she's- 

She's unlike anyone Jadzia has ever met. 

Thinking about this makes it hard for Jadzia to fall asleep once the fuss on the ship has died down. The captain was the last one to go to sleep, and now Jadzia is on deck, alone with Nerys. 

She seems to be far away, her eyes pinned to the stars. 

Jadzia looks at her. When she speaks, her voice sounds a little weak. 

'You miss it, don't you?'

Nerys turns to look at her. The glow on her face is different, has been since they met the captain. It’s warmer, less angry. Less scared. 

‘I do,’ Nerys answers. She looks back to the stars, finds the moon. ‘Of course I do.’

Jadzia pulls a face. She can’t help but to wonder how beautiful she must be glowing when she’s really up there, where she belongs. 

Where she belongs… up in the sky, far away from any human being. And far, far away from Jadzia. 

‘Nerys, I-’ 

‘You should sleep,’ Nerys interrupts her. Jadzia frowns, which makes her laugh. ‘You look tired,’ she says. ‘Aren’t humans supposed to be asleep at night?’

Jadzia smiles, but she shakes her head. ‘I-’, she trails off, her eyes fixed to the ship’s railing and the patterns in the wood. ‘I don’t want to leave you alone.’

Nerys just shrugs. ‘You don’t have to.’

‘What do you mean?’ 

As an answer, Nerys opens her arms. 

Jadzia freezes once she realises what she means. Then, a careful grin spreads over her face. 'Are you serious?' 

'Better hurry before I change my mind,' Nerys says dryly, and Jadzia obliges. 

She hesitates for just a second before she relaxes against Nerys' chest and closes her eyes. Nerys wraps one arm around her, the other starts running through her hair. 

'You'll be here when I wake up?', Jadzia asks softly. 

Instead of a comment like, _Well, it's not like I have a choice_ , Nerys simply says, 'Promise.'

So Jadzia sleeps, and for the first time in a very long time, she doesn’t dream of Lenara at all. 

She dreams of someone else instead. 

* * *

The Defiant is the first place on Earth (or, well, a few miles above it), that Nerys wants to call a home. They’re not really there for a long time, only travel with the crew for a handful of days to get them closer to Wall, but it’s enough. 

It’s many different things that make her feel this way. It’s the sky, so close to Nerys that she can almost touch it. It’s the crew, and the stories they tell late in the evenings, the laughter that wakes her in the morning. It’s Captain Sisko. It’s the wind in her hair, a feeling she has never felt before.  
And it’s Jadzia. 

This takes Nerys a while to realise. It’s… probably not good, the way it feels to look at her, the way Nerys’ heart nearly stops every time she throws her head back to laugh at something Worf said, or at the way she hasn’t stopped smiling since they’ve met the captain.

She does her best to ignore it. Because there is a reason they’re both here, of course. And that is the woman that Jadzia is in love with. 

Jadzia hasn’t mentioned Lenara in a while, but that doesn’t fool Nerys. She’s still there, waiting for Jadzia to come home. And nothing else matters. 

And if Nerys keeps closer to her more often, or takes any opportunity she can get to touch Jadzia, and if she’s glowing a little more brightly than usual, it doesn’t have to mean anything. 

Anything at all. 

It’s their last night on the Defiant when Nog finds an old gramophone in the bowels of the ship and carries it to the deck. The captain is delighted to see it, and so they watch the sun set with soft and quiet music playing. 

Nerys and Jadzia are sitting shoulder to shoulder. Nerys has never heard the song that’s playing, but Jadzia is humming along softly. Her head is resting on Nerys’ shoulder. She thinks to herself that she wouldn’t mind at all if this moment never ended. 

It does, however, when the captain leans forward and asks with a smile on his face, 'Would you like to dance, Nerys?' 

Nerys blinks. 'Would I like to- what?' 

Jadzia raises her head and looks at Nerys with wide eyes. 'You don't know what dancing is?' 

Nerys rolls her eyes and gives Jadzia a shove that only makes her laugh. 'Of course I know what dancing is,' she hisses at her. To the captain, she says, 'I'm just afraid I've never learned how.'

Sisko simply shakes his head. 'Don't worry,' he says, extending a hand. 'I can teach you.'

Nerys gives Jadzia a questioning look, which she returns. 'What, do you need my permission? Come on, go ahead, it might be fun.' 

So Nerys takes the captain's hand and lets him pull her to the middle of the deck. 

She's glad she's not wearing the dress that she crashed in anymore; with the sailor's uniform the crew has given her, it's much easier to follow Sisko's quick steps across the deck. 

'You're good at this,' Nerys says softly. 'For a pirate, at least.' 

Sisko just laughs at her. 'For something as graceful as a star, you're surprisingly clumsy.' 

'Oh, don't criticise me, I've only had these legs for two weeks, and one of them was broken for half of it.' The smile never quite vanishes from Nerys' face, even as she's concentrating to not step on the captain's feet or stumble over her own. 

Sisko smiles. He pulls her a little closer and the next words come out much more quietly. He doesn't want anyone else to hear this. 

'Have you thought about when you're going to tell Jadzia?' 

Nerys frowns. 'What do you mean?' 

'Come on.' The captain gives Nerys a spin, which makes Jadzia laugh. It's very distracting. 'You're glowing more brightly with every day that passes, and I think we both know why. Everyone on board can see it.'

'You're being ridiculous,' Nerys mutters. She bites her lip. 'Do you- do you think Jadzia sees it.' 

Both of them give Jadzia a quick look. She's sitting with Julian now, watching the two of them dance with an easy smile on her face. She looks beautiful. 

'I don't know,' Sisko admits. 'But you don't have much time left. We're docking tomorrow, and after that-' 

'It's just a few days long march back to Wall,' Nerys finishes. 'I know.' 

She looks down at their feet, and sighs. She can feel her light falter, just a little. 'I just-'

'May I cut in, Captain?' 

Nerys stops dead in her tracks, turning to Jadzia. She has a hand on Sisko's shoulder. Her hair is undone; Nog likes to brush through it, sometimes. 

Sisko blinks a few times, and Nerys realises only then that his eyes are adjusting to the change in light.

Because she's shining a lot brighter at the moment. 

'You think you can keep up?', Nerys asks, trying to somehow fill the silence. The first song is over, the second one beginning just now. Jadzia just smiles at her and takes her hand. 

This isn't very easy. Nerys shoots Sisko a look, but he does not look like he plans to help her. He simply steps back and lets them have the floor. 

'Remember, I just learned this two minutes ago,' Nerys reminds Jadzia. 

'Oh, don't worry,' Jadzia says softly. 'You're a quick learner. You're doing very well.' 

Why does this make Nerys' face heat up this way? She frowns, which only makes Jadzia laugh at her. 

'Don't look at me like that,' she complains. 'Is it so unlikely that I'm telling you something nice?' 

Nerys doesn't answer. She's too busy concentrating on the dance. 

On Jadzia's hand in hers, her other hand on her hip, holding onto her with an impossible softness.

It's so different from the way Jadzia had touched her when they were walking through the world those days ago. Why does it feel so different? Why does it make Nerys feel so safe, makes things seem so simple all of a sudden? And goddamnit, why can't she control the stupid glowing? 

Oh. 

Oh? Really? Now? 

_Her?_

Oh, how foolish. 

Nerys thinks all this to herself, and then she slowly rests her head on Jadzia's shoulder. 

Jadzia slows down. 'Everything alright?'

Nerys nods. 'Just- keep going,' she says. And Jadzia does. 

She's going to allow herself this, she decides. Just for tonight, she's going to be in Jadzia's arms, and she's going to be weightless. Then, for all Nerys cares, Jadzia can go and be with Lenara. That's alright. Nerys doesn't mind at all. 

She really doesn't.

She throws the captain a warning glance over Jadzia's shoulder, but he just grins at her in a way that honestly makes her wonder if he knows what she was just thinking to herself. 

'This is nice,' Jadzia says carefully. She pulls Nerys a tiny bit closer, leans her head against hers. Their shoulders are so close they're almost touching. 

'Yes,' Nerys says, trying to sound not too breathless. 'Where did you learn this?' 

'What, dancing?' Nerys gives a nod. 'My father taught me,' she explains. 'Long time ago. When I was way younger.' 

'How _much_ younger?', Nerys teases. 'You're already half a child.' 

'Oh, please. We can't all be multiple centuries old.'

Nerys chuckles. She closes her eyes. She can almost hear Jadzia's heartbeat. 'I'm not, you know.' 

'What do you mean?' 

Jadzia has stopped swaying. She and Nerys are just standing there now, in the middle of the deck. Holding each other.

Nerys wonders if Jadzia even noticed. She doesn't comment on it. 

'Multiple centuries old.' She smiles. 'I'm actually quite young. For a star.'

Jadzia hums. 'Is that why you're glowing that brightly all the time?' 

'What?'

'I mean, your light, your glow. It's so bright lately. Much brighter than any of the other stars.'

'Oh.' Nerys suddenly wants to pull Jadzia even closer, throw her arms around her properly and never let go. Instead she just smiles into her shoulder. 'No,' she says softly. 'That's for a different reason.' 

'Oh, really?' Jadzia pulls back, and then they're both face to face. 'What reason?'

Their noses are nearly touching now. All Nerys has to do is lean in a little closer, tilt her head to the side, and-

'It's what stars do,' Nerys explains. 'We shine. It's a reflex. Can't help it. Especially since… it's sort of tied to- our emotions, you know?'

Jadzia seems to understand, from the way the smile slowly spreads on her face. 'So, when you're glowing very brightly-' 

'It means I'm content, yes.' Nerys doesn't even mind the smug expression on Jadzia's face. All she wants to do is kiss it. 

'Shut up.'

'I didn't say anything!'

Nerys just smiles and looks away. 

'Should someone take over for Nerys, Jadzia?', O'Brien asks from the side with a grin. 'Maybe you could teach Julian to dance.' 

Nerys is the one that answers, 'Please. Do you want Jadzia's feet in a state she won't be able to walk home anymore?' 

Jadzia laughs at that, wholeheartedly. She throws her head back, and it's the most beautiful thing Nerys has ever seen. For a moment she worries she's going to blind everyone on the Defiant.

Then Jadzia's face twists in pain and the moment is over. 'Oh, damnit,' she curses. 

Nerys' hand is on Jadzia's stomach quicker than her own. 'Everything okay?' 

Jadzia nods but she keeps her teeth clenched. 'Fine,' she says. 'Just strained the stitches a little.' 

'Come on.' Nerys puts a hand on Jadzia's back and walks her to the side of the deck. 'Let's sit down.' 

'I'm fine,' Jadzia complains. 'I'm not hurt, leave me alone.' 

'I'll be the judge of that, alright?' Nerys sits down next to Jadzia, and she doesn't even hesitate before she snakes an arm around Nerys' waist and buries her face in her neck. 

Nerys stills. She doesn't dare move, too scared it's going to make Jadzia pull away. Very slowly, she puts a hand on Jadzia's head, and leaves it right there. 

She throws a glance at the crew. She'd love to make a snarky comment at the smiling faces. But she's feeling way too good for that. 

'It's getting late, Captain,' O'Brien eventually says. 'We should probably call it a night. Big day tomorrow.' 

Sisko raises one eyebrow and looks right at Nerys when he answers. 'What, it's night already? I hadn't noticed, it's still so bright out.' 

'Shut up,' Nerys says, way too comfortable to sound truly biting.

The crew of the Defiant clears the deck and soon it's only the two of them there. 

'Do you want to go inside?', Nerys mutters into Jadzia's hair. 

'No.' It's a soft sound, almost a whine. Nerys just smiles. 'You should sleep soon,' she says. 'O'Brien is right, you know. You have a big day tomorrow.' 

She realises that it's the wrong thing to say almost immediately. Even before she feels the sting of familiar hurt feelings, even before Jadzia raises her head and moves the tiniest bit away. 

'You're right,' she says, voice flat. 'We have a long way to walk.' 

Nerys frowns. 'Jadzia,' she says, and then nothing for a while. Jadzia waits for her to go on, but she doesn't look at her. 

'Do you- do you still want this?' 

_Because if you don't, if you want something else, I think I would actually do anything-_

'What do you mean?'

'I mean go home. Go to Wall. Meet Lenara. If you didn't, we could-'

Could what? What, exactly, Nerys, could you do? 

Stay with the Defiant. Get our own ship, travel the world. 

We could go anywhere, it wouldn't matter at all. We could- we could be together.

'No, I- I do,' Jadzia interrupts the silence. 'I do want to. Let's- let's do this. Let's get this done.'

Right. That makes sense. Nerys isn't sure why she feels so disappointed. 

'Then you're going to need to go to sleep.' 

Jadzia finally looks at Nerys. 'What about you?' 

Nerys shrugs. 'I'll fall asleep eventually.'

She promises this, but she doesn't. She watches Jadzia disappear under deck, and then she looks up at the stars and tries to miss them as much as she did when she'd just fallen. 

When the sun starts going up and Nerys finally falls asleep, she's hardly shining anymore. 

'Are you ready?', the captain asks her around noon the next day. Nerys has been awake for about an hour. The Defiant has left the clouds behind and they can already see the port they are approaching. 

Nerys rolls her shoulders and frowns. 'Why wouldn't I be?', she asks. 

The captain shrugs. 'No reason in particular,' he answers, 'except-' 

He pokes Nerys' frown with his finger. It makes her laugh, and she turns her head away. 

'It's fine,' she says. 'I'm fine.' 

Sisko gives a hum. Nerys steps to the railing and watches the ground come closer. Sisko joins her. 

'You know,' he eventually breaks the silence, 'I don't think this is as hard as you believe it is, Nerys.' 

She looks at him. 'What do you mean?' 

'I mean Jadzia.' 

'What about her?' 

'Come on, Nerys.' He bumps his shoulders into hers. 'You know what I mean.' 

Nerys looks down at her hands. 'You know where we're going, Captain.' She tries a smile, which doesn't quite work. 'We are doing this. It doesn't matter how much I glow on this ship or how loud Jadzia laughs with you or how much I-' She falls silent. 'It doesn't matter. We're still going.'

'So you're not going to tell her?' 

Nerys sighs. 'There's nothing to tell, Captain. Nothing of importance.' 

Sisko's brows furrow. 'You know,' he muses, 'I don't want you to lose an opportunity just because you don't go for it. Do you have anything to lose, telling Jadzia?' 

'No,' Nerys responds, even though she doesn't feel like it's really true. There's all kinds of things she worries she's going to lose if Jadzia starts looking at her differently. 

'But that's not the point.' Nerys finally manages to find the neutral, the detached tone of voice that she's had such a hard time with the past few days. 'I'm tired of this. I'm tired of humanity. I want to get this over with and I want to go home.' 

She tries really, really hard to mean it. She can tell in the captain's face that he doesn't believe her. 

'Well, there's still time. Maybe you'll change your mind.' He takes her hand and squeezes. It's a short and inconsequential gesture, but it almost makes Nerys admit that she might be wrong. 

'Maybe I will,' she says. 'Maybe I will.'

She doesn't tell Sisko how much she hopes he's right. 

'I'm going to miss you,' she adds quietly. She looks up at the captain. 'When I'm home. I'm going to miss you. I'll watch over you and the rest of the crew.'

It's the greatest promise of devotion a star can offer. That's what they do, they watch. And if they happen to be unlucky enough to love someone on Earth, then they watch over.

For a second, she worries that Sisko isn't going to know what she means. But then a smile spreads over his face and he pulls her into a hug.

‘You,’ Sisko mutters into her hair, ‘are something very special. Both of you.’

He pulls away and looks at her for a very long time. ‘We’re going to miss you, too.’ He laughs. ‘Hell, if you didn’t have your own journey to go through, I would ask both of you to stay with us. Actually, if you do end up finding yourself on Earth for a longer time and you have nothing else to do… you know where to find us. Or at least- you should know that you’ll be welcome with us.’ 

‘Thank you,’ Nerys says. 

And then it’s time to say goodbye. 

The port is tiny, barely enough space for one ship to dock. The Defiant is the only one around, which gives them enough time to give everyone a last smile. 

The captain gives Jadzia one of the lightnings they’d caught together and pulls her into a hug as well. 

‘Good luck,’ he wishes her, and then he whispers something else into her ear. 

Nerys can’t hear what it is, but when he pulls away he can see a frown on Jadzia’s face. 

‘Think about it,’ he says. ‘Please.’

Jadzia nods, and then she does smile, very carefully. 

She steps next to Nerys and gives her a look. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Of course,’ Nerys says, ignoring the urge to pull Jadzia to her and shake her by the shoulders until she realises that-

Hmm. It doesn’t matter. She’s not going to. 

They give the Defiant a final wave, and then they walk on. 

‘How’s your leg?’, Jadzia asks after a few moments of silence. Nerys turns around; the ship has already disappeared back into the sky. She shrugs.  
‘Fine,’ she says. ‘I don’t think there’s any more complications to be expected.’

‘That’s good,’ Jadzia says. She looks like she wants to say something else. 

Some more minutes pass, and then she tries a smile. ‘I wonder how long they’re going to be able to get by without us.’ 

Nerys grins. ‘I give them three days.’

‘Three? I had it pinned down to twelve hours.’

That makes Nerys laugh, and then everything is just a little bit easier. It’s a relief, to know that they haven’t left the familiarity behind on the Defiant. It’s stupid to worry, of course. But Nerys still did. 

Jadzia is walking very close to her, their shoulders nearly bumping into each other with every step they take. Nerys almost regrets breaking the silence when she asks Jadzia, ‘What did the captain tell you before we left?’

Jadzia nearly stops walking. It’s like time stops for her for a moment, while Nerys is walking on without noticing. She blinks. ‘Oh,’ she says. ‘You know. He said- hmm.’ She interrupts herself, like she’s… like she’s thinking of a good lie. Nerys smiles. She isn’t sure why this makes her feel so stupidly light. 

‘It’s fine, you don’t have to tell me,’ she says. Jadzia gives her a look. ‘It’s not… it’s not really important,’ she explains, not sounding very believable. 

‘I see.’ Nerys can’t quite manage to sound sincere. Jadzia rolls her eyes. 

‘Shut up.’

‘What?’ Nerys crosses her arms in front of her chest. ‘I didn’t say any-’

She doesn’t get to finish the sentence, because Jadzia grabs her by the waist and pulls her off the road. They lose their footing and tumble right into the bushes. 

‘Oh, damnit Jadzia,’ Nerys curses. ‘Are you trying to-’ She opens her eyes. And forgets what she was about to say. 

Jadzia's face is… very close. A lot closer than it's been any of the times on the Defiant. Closer even when they were dancing. 

Her breathing is going heavy, and she presses a hand to Nerys' mouth. 

'There's a wagon about to pass us,' she whispers. 'We need to be careful. No one can see us.' 

Nerys rolls her eyes to make sure Jadzia knows what she thinks of that. Jadzia just chuckles. 

And Nerys forces herself to think of Lenara, and all the wonderful things that Jadzia has said about her and about her feelings for her. Because if she didn't, it would be way too easy to pull away her hand and just kiss her, and then never stop kissing her. Instead, her eyes wander to the side and she takes a deep grounding breath. 

It doesn't make it better at all, of course. 

Jadzia pulls her hand away eventually. Nerys looks up at her and says the first thing that comes to her head. 

'You aren't tempted at all?' 

'What do you mean?', Jadzia asks, and is Nerys losing her mind, or is she staring right down at her lips? Is her head sinking down towards her, is she-

'I mean this,' Nerys explains with a gesture. 'Me.' 

'Oh.' Jadzia's smile dies. She's still looking at Nerys, but her eyes seem unfocused somehow. Her pupils are blown wide, and there's so little space left between their lips, and Jadzia keeps getting closer, and for a moment Nerys is _sure_ that-

'You could live forever,' Nerys says, quickly. Jadzia blinks, and the moment is over. 'It wouldn't be hard at all to achieve.' Nerys almost smiles. 'It's honestly stupid how lucky you were.' 

Jadzia chuckles. She looks to the side, where Nerys' hair is sprawled over the ground. 

'You don't really think I could do that, could you?' 

'I don't know.' Nerys frowns. 'Probably not, I suppose. But if you could… if you didn't know me, if it didn't matter-' 

Jadzia hums. 'I really don't get why everyone is that excited about eternal life,' she eventually says. 'Living forever… doesn't sound all that nice to me.' She looks down at Nerys and smiles, and it's such a small and simple smile but Nerys is still grateful that she's not standing, because she's sure otherwise her legs would have given out. 

'Except maybe,' Jadzia adds on, still smiling at Nerys in that _agonizing_ way, 'I suppose it couldn't be all that bad if you- well, if you shared it with someone. Someone that loves you. If you didn't have to spend it alone.' 

'Oh.' Nerys can't help the sigh escaping her lips as Jadzia looks down at her and probably sees her future. Except it's the future she's going to have with Lenara, and Nerys isn't in it at all. 

And she knows that that's alright, and she knows that Jadzia deserves it after everything she's been through. But still. It hurts.

It's the first time Nerys admits to herself that it hurts to hear about Lenara and how much Jadzia loves her. 

It's honestly typical. She fell down to Earth and the first thing she did was fall head over heels for some stupid human. 

'I guess so,' Nerys says. 

Jadzia nods, then gets to her feet. 'Come on,' she says, 'I think they're gone.' 

She extends a hand to Nerys, and Nerys takes it and lets Jadzia pull her up, and Jadzia brushes the dust from her shoulders, and Nerys is quite in love with her.

'Come on,' Jadzia says. 'You didn't actually break your leg again, did you?'

Nerys doesn't laugh at that. But it's very, very close. 

'We're going to need to rest soon,' Nerys says after a few more minutes of walking. 'You look tired.' 

'I'm fine,' Jadzia says, making a dismissive gesture. 'Besides, aren't you the one with the messed up sleeping pattern?' 

'Shut up,' is all that Nerys says to that. It's enough to make Jadzia laugh, and to make Nerys' knees feel just a little weak. She doesn't comment on it, because it would prove Jadzia's point. 

'Alright, how about this,' Jadzia suggests eventually. 'We keep walking for a few- let's say about four more hours? And then, sure, we can rest. Whatever you want, my lady.'

It turns out that Jadzia has thought this through very well; when they do sit down on the side of the road to rest, the night is halfway over. Jadzia is going to be able to sleep through parts of it, and Nerys will be able to sleep through parts of the day along with it. 

It's… thoughtful. It's kind. It's almost too much for Nerys. 

'Do you think we'll make it there tomorrow?', Nerys asks quietly. Jadzia is already lying down and has her eyes closed, but she answers anyway. 

'Probably. We can get a room in town, get our bearings. And then we'll see.'

It's an oddly diplomatic way of saying _And then I'll show you to the woman I love and I will marry her and you can go back up into the sky and spend the next few centuries thinking about me._

'That sounds good,' Nerys says anyway, because she's too tired to argue. 

Jadzia hums. Nerys looks up at the sky and wonders if any of the stars are watching her right now. And what they'd have to say about the strange adventure she's currently having. 

'Let's hope we won't run into any trouble tomorrow,' Nerys mutters, but Jadzia doesn't answer. 

'Jadzia?' 

Nothing. She's sound asleep.

She's very good at that, falling asleep in the most unlikely of places. It's really a miracle she didn't sleep through Adami slicing her knife into Nerys' chest. 

She shudders of the memory of the smiling woman and scoots a bit closer to Jadzia.

Without really noticing, one of her hands starts running over Jadzia's head. It's nice, the steady rhythm feels comforting. It also doesn't hurt that Jadzia's face relaxes at it, and she moves another inch closer to Nerys. 

Maybe this is why she does it. Maybe the rhythm made her lose her mind. 

Maybe she does it because she just feels very good, and she doesn't want to think about how much she's going to miss Jadzia, and she is very tired, and she just wants something to cling to for the moment. Even if that's her own foolish words. 

'I lied to you, you know,' she says very quietly. Then she waits to see if it's going to wake Jadzia. It doesn't. Very little things can wake her up once she's asleep. 

It's endearing, almost. 

'About the shining. I wasn't exactly honest. I didn't… I guess I was scared of you finding out.' 

She lets out a low chuckle. How foolish it is, to be scared of something like this. She's going to say goodbye to Jadzia forever tomorrow. Who cares what she knows or doesn't know about her?

Nerys does. She cares. 

She sighs and closes her eyes. 

'I guess it's not technically a lie, what I said. About the contentment. That's part of it. But there's more.' 

She laughs again. 'God, when I was watching you humans I didn't think there were special people among you. Not like Captain Sisko.'

The wind picks up. It makes Nerys shiver. But she doesn’t look closer to Jadzia next time. The next words are very quiet. 

‘Or like you.’ 

Jadzia stirs in her sleep and Nerys freezes. She holds her breath and waits, but Jadzia doesn’t wake up. 

She should probably shut up about this before she does wake up and everything goes wrong. That’s a good idea. She should shut her mouth and just go to sleep and wake up the next day and pretend that none of this ever happened. Yes, that sounds great. That sounds really great. 

‘I know it doesn’t really mean anything, because I’ve only been here for a few weeks,’ she continues, her mouth almost speaking on its own accord. 

It would be frustrating, probably, if Nerys wasn’t so lost in love with Jadzia. 

‘But you- you’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met. You’re- you know, when you spend as much time watching Earth as we do, or as I did, you develop an eye for a certain kind of people. The rare kind, the once-in-a-century kind of people, the ones that- the ones that you’re lucky to know.’ She smiles, quietly. ‘When I met you, I really didn’t think you were one of them. Maybe you’re not. But I don’t care. Because you are-’

She trails off, lost for words. She takes a deep breath and says the scariest thing she has ever thought. 

‘I miss the stars, the sky. I miss them every day. But if it turned out I could never go home, if I had to stay down here forever- I think I’d be fine with that. If that meant I could be with you. I’d like that.’

It almost hurts to admit it and to know that Jadzia doesn't hear her, and that she'll never know. But Nerys goes on. 

'And I've heard millions of stories, seen so many unfold on Earth, of adventure and betrayal and loyalty, and love. And I don't think I ever really understood them, you know? I think I might get it now. Jadzia, I- I think I might love you.' 

She can feel her own light flicker, just a little. Her breath is shaky. She feels so small. She feels like such a fool. And she doesn't mind at all. 

'That's what it means, you know. When I'm glowing. It means that- it means that I'm with people I love.' She chuckles. 'God, I didn't even know how brightly I could shine before I met you. That must mean that, right? That must mean that I love you.' 

A deep breath, and then Nerys lays down next to Jadzia. She closes her eyes, and doesn't touch the person next to her. Jadzia doesn't stir. 

'I love you,' Nerys says again, barely a whisper this time. But that doesn't make it any less true. 

This is how she falls asleep. 

The next day, she wakes to a hand on her shoulder, gently shaking her. She swats it away. 

'Hey,' a voice calls out to her, so gently that Nerys wants to cry. 'I know you want to stay asleep, but we should get going. You can rest once we've made it to the wall, alright?' 

Nerys squints her eyes open and looks up to see Jadzia. 

She's smiling at her so sweetly that Nerys' heart speeds up almost immediately. Jadzia narrows her eyes when Nerys' light increases. 

'Okay, easy, you look like the damn sun,' she complains, with no bite in her voice. 'Alright, I'll give you five more minutes, but then we'll really have to go.' 

'It's so early,' Nerys complains. ' _How_ are you so cheerful?' 

'Oh, careful, Nerys,' Jadzia teases. 'I think you might be getting used to a human sleeping schedule here. That can't be healthy.' 

'Shut up,' Nerys grumbles. But she keeps on shining anyway. 

'You're going to love sleeping in Wall,' Jadzia says once they're back on their way towards Jadzia's home town. 'You- oh, hang on. Nerys, have you ever actually slept in a real life bed since you got here?' 

She sounds way too excited for a question as simple as this, so Nerys shrugs. 'Sleeping, no. Lying, yeah, sure. Just before a witch tried to cut my heart out. Maybe you remember?' 

Jadzia's smile falters a little which gives Nerys a very stupid sting, but she catches herself quickly. 'Well, then today will be your first time! I cannot wait to hear what you'll think!'

'Come on,' Nerys mutters. 'I've had perfectly fine sleep on this journey so far. How would a bed be that much more special?' 

Jadzia just smiles. 'You'll see it once we get there. And then we'll have this conversation again.' 

Nerys decides to not say what she's thinking about that out loud. They keep walking. The morning bleeds into noon, bleeds into the afternoon. Jadzia stays cheerful and talkative, no matter how tired she must be getting. 

'You're really looking forward to seeing her again, aren't you?' 

This is the first time the smile on Jadzia's face really dies today. It's back very quickly, though. 

'Oh, you know,' she says. 'It's nice to come back home. Especially after such a great adventure.' 

She doesn't mention Lenara at all. Nerys decides to not read too much into that. 

And then they pass the first farm. Jadzia gives the man working on a field further away from them a wave. He returns it. 

'You know him?', Nerys asks. Jadzia makes a noncommittal sound. 

'Sort of. It's a small world around Wall. You can't really grow up here without meeting all your neighbours at least once. No matter how distant.' 

'You grew up here,' Nerys mutters. Jadzia raises her eyebrows. 

'Believe it or not, this little adventure was the first time I actually travelled somewhere. Why is that so surprising?' 

'It's not,' Nerys says. She stops to think about how to explain this. 

'I just- I have trouble picturing that. Children. You as a child.' She looks to Jadzia. 'You know, it's a little different from what I know. Since I'm a star and all that.' 

Jadzia frowns. 'You're saying you've never seen a child?' 

Nerys grins. 'Apart from Doctor Bashir, no, I haven't.' 

That makes Jadzia laugh. The look of curiosity stays on her face, though. 'So you've never … _been_ a child, either. Never made stupid childish mistakes?'

_Well, I did fall in love with you._

'Of course not.' 

Nerys is quiet for a moment, then she asks, 'What's it like?' 

'What, being a child?' 

'Yes. Growing up. Tell me about it.' 

Jadzia does. She's had what sounds like a happy childhood to Nerys. She has a lot of childish mistakes to tell stories about. Falling from trees, falling for unavailable people, getting in all sorts of trouble. 

Nerys listens and laughs and ignores how this only makes everything worse. 

How this only makes her want Jadzia more. 

'What about you?', she asks eventually. 

'What do you mean?' 

'You weren't a child, but there has to be some kind of growing up that you did. Were you… born just like this, or did you change?' 

Nerys hums. 'Well, you know I don't really look like this.' She looks down on her own body. 'Not at home, at least. A body is something we don't need up there.' 

'What _do_ you look like, then?', Jadzia presses on. 'Is there any way to describe it at all?' 

'I'm not sure,' Nerys mutters. 'I suppose the best way to describe it would be- light.'

'Light?' There's the hint of a smile in Jadzia's voice.

'Don't make fun of me,' Nerys frowns. 'It's really not easy to describe. But yes, just- light. In its purest, brightest form.' 

She shrugs. 'And, you know, light doesn't really… grow. Not like you, at least. It just changes over time. Old stars, they shine differently than young ones.' She shrugs. 'That's all I can tell you.' 

She looks at Jadzia, which turns out to be a mistake. 

'What?' She hits her in the arm, too gentle to inflict any pain. 'It's not my fault your stupid people didn't make up the words to describe this right.' 

'No, no, you're right,' Jadzia says, but the wide and absolutely radiant smile on her face doesn't fade. 'I know that, and I'm not making fun of you. I promise.' 

She takes Nerys' hand in hers, probably to show her how sincere she is. Nerys blinks.

She tries her best to not pull away on instinct and to just let Jadzia hold her hand. Just for this little moment. 

As if they were back on the Defiant. 

It's nice. Nerys wants to never move again to make sure she can hold Jadzia's hand until the end of her existence, so yes. It's nice. 

'Oh, look!'

Jadzia lets go of Nerys' hand (and Nerys doesn't miss it, she doesn't miss it, she doesn't miss it, she doesn't miss it, she doesn't miss it, she-

She misses it immediately.) and points to something in the distance. 

Nerys squints against the afternoon sun until she spots the buildings. 

'Oh,' she says. 'That was fast.' 

'It's Wall!', Jadzia exclaims, like Nerys doesn't know that. 'Come on, we're almost there.' 

'Yeah,' Nerys mutters. She follows Jadzia, and no matter how hard she tries, she can't quite shake the feeling of dread in her chest. 

Wall is a nice enough town, though. Not that Nerys has seen enough of them up close to be able to draw a comparison, but it's… pretty. Way too small for the amount of people that walk around in it. 

'Market,' Jadzia explains when Nerys wonders about it out loud. 'Happens once every twelve years or so. Big deal. That's when the real magical people show up here. You know.' She beams. 'Like you!'

Nerys snorts. 'Please,' she says, 'don't compare me to these people, Jadzia. I'm a being of the sky.' 

Jadzia snickers. 'Right. Please forgive me, my celestial lady.' 

The town is very full, but they manage to find an inn that has a free room. It's a room meant for one person, but that's fine. Nerys isn't going to sleep tonight, anyway. 

'How are you feeling?'

She looks up and squints at Jadzia. 'What do you mean?' 

'Well, I just mean, you're about to be home again. No more stupid bodies, no more evil witches after your heart. No more stupid people,' she adds a little more quietly. 

Nerys thinks about deflecting this, changing the subject to something less likely to hurt. Instead, she says, 'You know that I'm going to miss you, right?'

Jadzia doesn't say anything. She looks like she's trying to look stoic, unbothered. But the smile creeps its way on her face anyway. 

'Don't look so damn pleased,' Nerys says softly. 'But no, I'm definitely not going to forget any of this. Not the Defiant, not the captain. And definitely not you.' 

Jadzia turns away, shifting the bedsheets into place. 'That's good to know,' she says, and then, 'I'll miss you, too.'

'I know,' Nerys says, even though she's not so sure. After all, once Nerys is gone, Jadzia will have a wife. And Nerys will be alone. 

Jadzia is quiet for a moment. She's still looking down at the bed instead of Nerys. Nerys doesn't think she's going to say anything else, but then… 

'Did you mean what you said to me last night?' 

Nerys blinks. And then the world stops turning. 

It doesn't really, of course. That's not possible. Nerys has watched it turn for a long time, and it had never stopped, so it's definitely not stopping now. 

Still, something in the air- shifts, somehow. 

Maybe that's just Nerys holding her breath. 

'What are you talking about?', she asks. 

Maybe she hopes Jadzia will drop it. Jadzia really should drop it.

Nerys thinks she's going to die if Jadzia really drops it. 

And of course she doesn't, because she's so cocky and ridiculous, and so goddamn brave. 

'I mean last night,' she says softly, 'when we'd lied down to sleep.' 

'You-' Nerys shakes her head. 'No, no, you weren't awake for that. You didn't hear that.' 

Jadzia just looks at her, and then it finally sinks in properly. 

Jadzia had heard her. Jadzia had heard every word. 

Oh god, now she's really ruined it all. 

Nerys feels her face flush and she turns away. 'No,' she says again, 'no, that's not- you didn't-' She covers her face in her hands. She hears Jadzia chuckle quietly and she shakes her head. 

'Why didn't you _say_ anything?' 

And then Jadzia is right in front of her, and she's taking her wrists and pulls her hands away from her face very slowly. Nerys looks away, but she can see Jadzia's smile anyway.

It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. 

'I was scared,' Jadzia answers, 'that you'd stop talking if you knew I could hear you. And I _really_ didn't want you to stop.' 

'Why not?' 

Nerys clings to the sound of Jadzia's voice like it's going to pull her up from under very deep water. 

Jadzia puts a hand under Nerys' chin and turns her head to face her. 

Nerys bites her lip. She's an ageless star, a being of the sky, she's going to outlive every person on this planet, and she doesn't have anything to fear. Still, she's almost too scared to look at Jadzia right now. 

But Jadzia is smiling. 

If, once she's home and centuries have passed, there's anything Nerys is going to remember about Jadzia, it's the smiles on her face and the way they never seem to make sense. 

'Do you remember when you asked me what the captain said to me when we left the Defiant?' 

Nerys blinks. What does that have to do with anything? 'I- yes, sure, but-' 

'Do you want to know what he told me?' 

Nerys doesn't say anything. Jadzia takes it as the invitation to keep talking that it is. 

'He said,' Jadzia says softly, 'that if I really though this journey was still about Lenara, I would be an idiot.' She smiles, and she's so beautiful. 'He said that there's something else keeping me on my way. Something else that I wanted. And that I hadn't opened my eyes to it yet, and he was right. And now I have.' She runs a hand through Nerys' hair, and more than anything Nerys wants to know what she means. 

'What is it, then?', Nerys asks, her voice hoarse. She's surprised she manages to get any words out. She's sure that she's going to die if Jadzia doesn't explain, just like a tiny candle flickering out with not enough air around. 

But Jadzia's smile is so wide. Nerys almost doesn't understand why she's so scared.

'Isn't it obvious?', Jadzia asks. She takes Nerys' face in her hands. 'Nerys, it's you.' 

And then, Jadzia closes her eyes. There's two reasons for this. 

The first one is the very short and very soft kiss she presses to Nerys' lips. The second is, of course, the blinding light it ignites in Nerys' insides, leaking out of her like the stupid overwhelming relief she's feeling. 

The kiss ends quickly, but Nerys doesn't stop shining. She puts a hand over Jadzia's eyes and kisses her again, more deeply this time. 

'Are you sure about this?', she mutters against her lips, realising that the question is coming a little too late. Jadzia chuckles. She says, 'I don't think I've ever been more sure of anything.'

And when they kiss again, it's the first time since Nerys has fallen that she feels completely weightless. 

Eventually, she gets the light under control. Eventually, the two of them sit down on the bed, hands intertwined, and they just take in this moment. 

'I should probably apologise to you,' Jadzia says then, very quietly. 

Nerys raises an eyebrow. 'Really?', she asks. 'For what?' 

Jadzia makes a broad gesture to nothing in particular. 'I don't know, for everything? Breaking your leg, kidnapping you, dragging you around for days, letting you almost get killed by an evil witch? Pick one, I guess.'

Nerys hums, thinking about that. 'Well,' she says. 'You did save my life. I think that makes us even.'

Jadzia laughs at that, and then she wraps her arms around Nerys and buries her face in the crook of her neck. 'What are we going to do now?', she asks. 

Nerys doesn't now, so she just says, 'Sleep.'

So they do. 

And Nerys hates sleeping on Earth. It worked alright on the Defiant, with the sky so close and with the gentle swaying of the ship. But sleeping on solid ground, so far away from home- it leaves her restless, feeling unsafe and cold. 

Nerys hates sleeping on Earth. But she does like, so she finds out now, sleeping in Jadzia's arms, with her lips in her hair and her hands on her ribs. 

She's never slept so peacefully, not even before she fell. 

* * *

Jadzia wakes up in the morning and it takes her a moment to realise where she is. 

A soft bed, birds chirping outside. Someone warm and quiet next to her. 

The first word that comes to mind for Jadzia is _home._ And then, right after, naturally, is _Nerys_. 

She smiles against Nerys' shoulder blades and keeps her eyes closed, just for a moment. 

Then she sits up. She has a busy day today. 

'Are you awake?', she whispers to the star sleeping in her bed. 

'No,' is the slurred answer. 'Go away.'

Jadzia grins. She raises her hand and runs a finger down Nerys' nose. Nerys, still not opening her eyes, just scowls. 

'Leave me alone,' she complains. 

Instead of granting Nerys that, Jadzia just presses a kiss to her nose. 

'Can you blame me?', she says softly. 'You said it yourself. It's stupid how lucky I am.'

That's when Nerys does open her eyes. And she smiles at Jadzia, still half asleep. 

All Jadzia can do not to lose her mind is kiss her again.

'So,' she says then. 'What was it like sleeping in a bed for the first time?'

Nerys snorts. 'Of course you'd come back to that,' she mutters. She closes her eyes and pulls the blanket over her face. Jadzia can't help it; she actually _giggles._

'I guess that means you liked it?'

'I did,' she hears Nerys' muffled voice from under the blanket. 'But I can't say if that really was thanks to the bed-,' she pulls the blanket back down, 'or thanks to the company.' 

Jadzia leans back into the bed and wraps her arms around Nerys. Nerys relaxes into her touch. For a moment, everything is perfect. 

Then the moment ends. 

'You want to go see Lenara, don't you?', Nerys asks quietly. Jadzia nods. 

'I think I have to,' she says softly, and then grins. 'If only to make sure she doesn't think I'm dead.' 

'What are you going to tell her?' 

'You mean apart from the fact that I'm still alive?' Nerys just nods, and Jadzia shrugs. 'That I found the star. That I was a fool. That I'm sorry.' She shakes her head. 'For running after her all these years, for realising the important things too late.' 

Nerys hums. 'It seems you have a lot of women to apologise to.' 

That makes Jadzia laugh, and the air around them is a little less heavy after that. 

'What-' Nerys interrupts herself. She bites her lip, a deep frown on her face. 'What are you going to do after that?'

Jadzia hums, the smallest smile on her face. 'I'm not sure,' she says. 'What do you think I should do?

Nerys rolls her eyes, and Jadzia sobers up quickly. 

'What about you?' Jadzia asks. 'Don't you want to go home?' 

Nerys puts a hand on Jadzia's face. 'I thought you heard what I said to you that night,' she says. 'I would- love to go home, yes. But…' 

'But?' 

'But I'd also love to be with you, Jadzia.' And Nerys doesn't roll her eyes or make a sarcastic comment and Jadzia can feel her face heat up. 

'You know I don't exactly grow old,' Nerys says now, with a soft smile. 'I could stay with you for as long as you like. If you want me to.' 

Jadzia breaks out into a full-faced grin. It puts a soft glow around Nerys' head. 

'I,' Jadzia says, taking Nerys' hands and softly kissing her palms, one after the other, 'would love that. I'd love to be with you. I want to be with you.' 

And Jadzia had imagined what it might feel like to finally be with Lenara properly so many times, and yet, the feeling never came close to what this is like. This is an entirely different story.

It really is stupid how lucky she is. 

Nerys decides she does not want to meet Lenara all that badly and would rather have a look around the market, so Jadzia makes her promise not to get herself into trouble and they decide to meet back here in two hours. Jadzia kisses Nerys' cheek before they part and is not afraid of anything.

Lenara is quite surprised to see Jadzia. There's actually a moment where she thinks she's not going to recognise her, which would have probably broken Jadzia's heart just a few weeks ago. Now, it feels like it just makes sense. 

When Lenara does recognise her, she presses a hand to her mouth and hugs Jadzia tightly.

She is, as it turns out, just as apologetic as Jadzia is. She sits her down and says how sorry she is, and how she honestly didn't believe Jadzia would really do this when she suggested it (that makes Jadzia laugh), and how she was so worried she had sent Jadzia to her death. 

Jadzia only grasps her hands and smiles widely, and she says that she'll forgive Lenara, if Lenara can forgive her. That confuses her a little. 

Jadzia's eyes are glowing when she says, 'Lenara, I found the star.'

And she tells her about Nerys and about their adventure and the awful things they've been through and the magical people they've met. 

And she tells Lenara the story of how she fell in love.

Lenara listens intently, and she nods, and she understands, and it's very easy. 

'I don't think you ever truly wanted me,' Jadzia says, without any grudge. 'I just didn't want to see it. And I'm very sorry.'

Lenara forgives her. 'What are you going to do next?', she asks. 

Jadzia says, 'I don't know. But I'm not going to be alone.' 

They part in good spirits. Jadzia promises to visit her one day, and then she walks back to her star. 

She's just made it to the market when she notices that something is wrong. There's hushed whispers, terrified glances, and a strange smell of chaos in the air. 

Nerys isn't at the inn.

It takes Jadzia a while to find out what happened. She thinks about threatening the people on the market, showing them just how much she needs to know. But she doesn't even need to draw her sword in the end.

'The lady,' one of them says with a shaking voice. 'The lady took her. She took her.' 

'Where did they go?' Jadzia's voice is quiet. She doesn't even notice just how dangerous she sounds. 

'They went north,' another voice answers and Jadzia says, 'Give me a horse.' 

Somehow, it works. Jadzia doesn't even stop to think about what she would do if it didn't, and maybe that's why it works. The next thing Jadzia knows is she has her sword and the lightning Captain Sisko gave her as a parting gift on her belt, and she's making her way up North, up, up, and her heart is beating so fast she thinks she might die.

She finds Adami's home- because it's Adami that's taken Nerys, it has to be, nothing else makes any _sense_ \- in a light and grassy forest. It's a big house, nearly a mansion, and it's _old._ It looks worn, too, like no one has lived in it in a long time. 

But Nerys is here. Jadzia can feel it. She's here, and she's afraid. 

Jadzia barges through the door without any plan, without any idea what to expect. 

It's dark, in the house. The windows are covered in thick and black fabric. The only light Jadzia sees is a faint glow at the end of the corridor. 

She wants to shout Nerys' name, to let her know that she's here, and that everything is going to be okay. But she keeps her mouth shut, because if Nerys is here, that means so is Adami. 

Jadzia follows the light, which is fading and fading with every step she takes, and soon she hears voices. 

'Don't worry, my child,' a voice says, and Jadzia's skin crawls at the sound. 'Everything is going to be fine.' 

The answer is a string of loud and angry curses. Jadzia's chest tightens. Nerys. 

When Jadzia makes it into the room, Adami has her back turned to her. For a moment, the only one that sees her is Nerys. 

They look at each other. Nerys looks very afraid.

The look of relief that spreads on her face at Jadzia's sight is only outshined by the light that fills the room. It blinds Adami, and she stumbles back. Jadzia takes that moment to make her way over to them, to cut Nerys' ties and pull her to her feet. 

Nerys throws herself into Jadzia's arms, and she forgets where they are and what is happening. She picks Nerys up and spins her, once, so relieved that it's almost, definitely stupid. 

'You found me,' Nerys whispers. 

'Of course I did,' Jadzia says. 

And then the two of them are torn apart. 

The light fades, not from Nerys' face but from the room, forcibly drowned out like someone smothering the fire of a candle. Adami gets to her feet. She's not smiling anymore. 

'That was a very bad idea,' she says softly. 'Trying to attack me in my own home? You should have just stayed in Wall, child.'

‘You should have kept your hands away from her,’ Jadzia hisses back. 

Adami just laughs. ‘You want her heart for yourself?’, she asks. ‘Sorry. I can’t let that happen.’ 

And then hell unfolds on the two of them. 

Jadzia clings to Nerys’ hand like she’s holding onto a lifeline, and she doesn’t let go even when all the windows burst and a million tiny shards of glass rain down on the two of them. Jadzia throws her coat around their faces, and then it’s nothing but shreds. 

‘We need to get out of here,’ Nerys says. ‘She’s right. We can’t fight her here.’ 

‘I can try,’ Jadzia says, and draws her sword. 

Captain Sisko has taught her well. From the first moment he’s given her the sword, Jadzia had had a feeling she was going to fight for Nerys with it, and not anything else. But Adami is fast, and she doesn’t give Jadzia a chance to really strike her. 

It also means that she’s let go of Nerys’ hand, which she only realises is a bad idea when Nerys comes to grab hers again. 

‘Jadzia,’ she says, ‘you need to stop. We need to go.’

‘No,’ Jadzia growls. ‘I can do this. I can stop her. I need to stop her.’

‘Jadzia, _please._ ’

That stops her. That turns her around. 

Nerys looks very, very scared. 

‘Please,’ she says again. ‘Let’s go home.’

Jadzia says, ‘Okay.’ 

She turns back to Adami. 

‘You’re not going to hurt her,’ she says slowly. ‘Ever again.’

She reaches for the container still tied to her belt. Adami’s eyes widen when she realises what it is. 

The lightning crashes through the room and seems to hit everything at once. The walls, the ceiling, everything is crumbling. The bang is so loud that Jadzia’s ears ring painfully. She clenches her teeth and lets Nerys pull her out of the room. 

The front door of the house is standing wide open. Nerys reaches for it, they’re almost there, they’ve almost made it-

Another bang echoes through the house and the door slams closed and locks. 

‘No!’, Jadzia calls, banging her fists on the door. ‘Come on!’

Nerys turns around to face the end of the corridor, where Adami is standing. She’s breathing heavily. There’s blood dripping from her mouth. She looks like a bomb about to explode. 

Jadzia grabs her sword, but Adami raises an arm and it’s ripped from her hand, sent through the room. Jadzia curses. Adami smiles. 

‘Nerys,’ Jadzia says. ‘I don’t know what to do next.’

Adami starts walking towards them. Slowly, like she has all the time in the world. Jadzia’s heart is all the way up in her throat. 

‘Are you hurt?’, Nerys asks. Jadzia shakes her head. 

On the other side of the hallway, Adami picks up Jadzia’s sword. ‘This will do,’ she decides. ‘Thank you for this, Jadzia. I almost thought I’d have to make a mess for a moment.’

‘Nerys.’ Jadzia grabs the star’s hands and looks at her. She’s very scared. ‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry.’

Nerys just smiles. She takes Jadzia’s face in her hands. ‘Don’t worry,’ she whispers. ‘It’s going to be alright.’

‘Nerys-’

‘Shut up for a moment and close your eyes.’ 

‘What are you-’

Jadzia falls silent when Nerys wraps her arms around her, tightly. She buries her face in Nerys’ neck and does as she’s told. 

'Close your eyes,' Nerys says again. 'Close your eyes and trust me.' 

Jadzia does. 

And then the world explodes into nothing but light. Jadzia has her eyes closed, hidden in Nerys' neck but she can still see it. It pours out of Nerys like the tide's coming in, and it reaches into every crack of the world. It covers the walls, the floor, and every inch of Jadzia. It's warm, and she knows exactly that nothing will ever, ever be dark again. 

She thinks she hears Adami scream, but it doesn't matter. Because Nerys is there, and Jadzia is there, and everything is going to be fine. 

The light fades after a while, but they don't let go of each other. Jadzia runs her fingers through Nerys' hair and feels ridiculously, stupidly, incomprehensibly lucky. 

'You saved me,' Jadzia mutters into Nerys' hair. The star laughs. 'You saved me first.' 

Jadzia says, 'What are we going to do now?' 

Nerys pulls away from the embrace and looks at Jadzia. She presses a kiss to her jaw. 

'Let's go home,' she says.

And neither of them really belong anywhere. But they do belong with each other.

So they go home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!


End file.
